Friday, November 4, 2016

Review: How Two: Have a Successful Relationship by Phil and Maude Mayes

How Two: Have a Successful Relationship
by Phil and Maude Mayes

30075491Back Cover Blurb:
Do you and your partner argue too much? Are you always fighting about who is right? Are you feeling estranged and distant? In How Two: Have a Successful Relationship, experts Phil and Maude share their process and their radically different approach to relating. They insist that conflict is not inevitable and that it is possible to have a passionate and peaceful relationship.

Phil and Maude share a simple step by step understanding that is easily accessible to everyone. Their strong desire to make their direct experience available to all couples shines through their writing and will renew your faith in what is possible and attainable. In these pages you will learn:

* How to find mutual solutions to decision making and problem solving
* How to remain an individual within the relationship
* How to break the vicious cycle of anger and recrimination
* How to avoid the pitfalls that create separation and estrangement
* How to keep that original loving connection to your partner

This book is a gem. It's short, it's practical, it's based on real life experience. If you want to improve your relationship, this is the book for you.

My Take:
Phil and Maude Mayes have taken their peaceful relationship over many years and built a platform to assist other couples in achieving the same level of harmony, acceptance, and oneness in a relationship.

They have  a thriving ministry, if you will, to couples through youTube and an online blogs on their website,

The book covers the art of communication, acceptance, conflict resolution, intimacy, peace, and respect for one's self and one another pretty candidly through personal experience and interviews of other couples. Each chapter begins with a quote from people like John Denver, Dr. Phil McGraw, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Maggie Scarf, and Donna Quesada, contains information from Phil and Maude's personal story, and a conversation back and forth between them, ending in a question and answer session from other couples at various stages of their relationships.

As this is nonfiction, I expected none, and got none - not even a description of domestic violence. ;-)

None. It's clean.

Adult Content:
PG - The book covers sexuality and intimacy but there's nothing graphic at all in it. Even the question and answer sessions don't devolve much into any real details of the couples sex lives, only about the intimacy of sharing touch and time together, cuddling and watching TV, that sort of thing. One statement from a couple was that 'We see sex as an act, and intimacy as a connection.'

Christian content:
Oh my. From a Christian perspective, this book is rife with issues. It has plenty of spirituality and faith embedded inside but it's New Age and Eastern Mysticism. Zen and Karma make appearances in places, and the quotes are from mostly followers of that worldview. If that's your cup of tea, you probably would get something out of this, but from a Christian perspective, you might get more confusion than answers.

Final analysis:
There aren't many typos in this book, and the organization of the subject matter is solid. The topics are relevant and it covers important ground. However, I found the 'Conversations' portions to be merely a recap with simple agreement from the other partner back and forth. So I found the 'yes man' feedback unnecessary, and the book would have improved if those were simply stricken from the conversation. Some of the couples interviewed did not even cohabitate, so I found their input irrelevant, and from a Christian perspective, the subject of marriage, weddings, commitment, and vows to be almost lacking. And that's disheartening. The presence of a different worldview was another thing that made it difficult for me to complete this book, but setting differences aside, the book has some relevance. Four Stars.

About the Authors:
Phil MayesPhil Mayes lives in Santa Barbara, California, having started in London, England. Phil is a software developer, photographer and writer. He likes cats, movies, chocolate and quirky people. He is married to Maude Mayes, a fact that continues to amaze and delight him.

Maude MayesMaude Mayes lives in Santa Barbara, California, having started in New York City. Maude and her husband and co-author Phil Mayes have been writing and speaking about spreading peace one relationship at a time for many years. They wrote the book Secrets of a Successful Relationship Revealed, and write a weekly relationship newsletter, as well as a weekly blog available on their website Phil and Maude are the producers of a number of relationship videos, as well as the series Kit and Kat Relationship Experts, all of which are to be found on their YouTube channel The Couples Project. They have been featured in a number of live interviews and write articles, both online and in print.


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